Think about when you look back at this moment. "What if" isn't an option. Spread love. Pay it forward. Every moment counts. Look back smiling with no doubt.

Questions provoke thought. Thoughts provoke reasoning, intuitive flow, waves&length of energy, a knock on the heart's door, a tap with expectation.

Stop dreaming. Start creating.

I don't know what I'm practicing for, but it's something magnificant.

Hey world

Do ya miss me? I've sobbed, breathed, tasted, sensed, listened, heard, bruised, and spit bitter sweet moments lately. Today, I relax and dream of the inspirations I push myself toward. The future always has some goodies in store, but why not create some more?

Just baked some cinnamon rolls. Another sweet moment.

Redundant tea sipping, to find my voice that has been lost for a couple days. Bitter moment.

I'll color your sky.
Let's just all breathe together.
Heart breakers get their hearts broken. The only kind of karma that makes sense.

You don't say goodnight anymore

Too busy to write? Too busy enjoying, actually. Writing, yes; just not here.
Life is sweet, in case you're wondering.

'healing my throat, choking my neck with a giant scarf, and burning up on multiple levels. i hate writing because my english teacher . i hate thinking about what i'm going to say. i have become paranoid. i do it to myself. i can't sleep without waking up with a tooth ache. i am sick of having a social life. i need to think for myself. be with myself. actually move myself. will it happen this time? venting is preventing me to vent. staying simple because bill says so. stop pushing me. its one of those days where i give up. i dont care. push me around and forget about it. it was a dazed dream and i didnt stop it. i dont know and you dont care. or you care too much that makes me not want to care. what are you doing anyway? why me? spit it out and treat me like royalty and mean  it. i want my room back. i want my dream. a dream. i have no dream. once you tell, its not a secret. i am not in love with anything. how am i supposed to go through life without knowing what love is, what im going to be, what i want to be, first; where i want to go and who i want to be with. what is it? i dont know. i dont know what im giving up on because i have no love. i have nothing to lose. i have no reason to wake up. no self motivation. no real dream. i don't care about a thing right now. lately. im only using my right brain. my senses. my legs. and no drive. no driven life. so what does this mean? open your eyes, widely and stay still. blunt. what is it that you feel? thinking and feeling are different. sanity, that's just telling yourself you are okay. we are not okay. we are never okay. okay seems to be bland and normal. what is life? what is love? what is it, that i want?'

Wowza.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/genkidavid/5035217027/

It's in the bag

Cross my path, I'll make you laugh.
Oh, life is what ever, where ever, as long, short, and as great as you please.

Cute guitar boy, you're on my radar. Here's to document the day I opened the door for you. Not literally speaking, of course. Let's see how long it will take us to become friends.

Now let's rise our glasses (punch and wine) and sing sing sing to where we want to shine. Let's smile at those who we'll never see again until they die. Slap high-fives to those in need, dollars in between. Creme and light, not in spite of anything. Just be, be be and take it, give it, anywhere and everywhere. No where could be somewhere.

So, let's just breathe in this miracle that brings us together, no questioning variables to bring. And don't collapse when you lean, we'll keep you knitted, tight and clean. Classic and natural, it's real. Teal. No deal. Squeak in honor of Jolly. Squeal. No holidays. Everyday, celebrate. Holidays should be highlights. Everyday isn't memorable, as much, but don't be afraid to create holidays. Moments withing moments. Magic.
Make magic.

And when our crystal glasses click and ring, white pearl smiles in delight. Scout first. Sip. Breathe. Don't stop. You cannot stop. Not until you walk away. I hope that one wouldn't stop breathing when one walks away.

Au revoir, the night is young.

sardines

Always thank the ones who got you to where you are today. Sent some e-mails out to former teachers.
I may not be known by the world, but that doesn't make me a nobody. We are each a somebody.

I was just sipping my Yogi tea in the living room with sweat pants, hair up, chillin' with no make up on, and watching the new MTV's "World of Jenks." Andrew Jenks, brilliant idea cooker-upper, went into the life of a rapper this episode. He chose Maino, and behind all the partying, girls, and successful lifestyle, his true stories are what keeps him strong and driven. "I've come a long way." We can all say that, at one point in time, sure. But experiencing someone else's life, rather than hearing the stories, is a whole new level of spontaneousness, if you will. You were there. You saw the police pull up. You saw the drug attics and the poverty.You heard it. You felt the chills. You even have stories of your own. And now, you keep on, from "hell and back," and sign on those autographs for those who look up to the true you, and not just the image. If that was a story about just one rapper, imagine everyone else's story. Yet, don't just imagine, think deeply. What would it be like to wake up as them in the morning? That is the question. You're not doing it because you have a body and life of your own. Imagine. Imagine all the people in the world, one stereotype at a time, as all the labels erase after breathing with their lungs and blood pumping with their heart.

Listen to your body.

At the end of the tea bag, my fortune said, "Live in your strength."

Today I will not think about the s word we all attend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vE7iNpH97Ls
Could it be; this inspires me; to save my mon-ey; and go to NYC.
New Year '11. See all you beautiful people there.

18 in December. Sky diving was/is my goal.

Love can spread so far.
It's a hefty hefty thing.

koolmaybenot@skhool

Think visually, and define your "cool."
Ready, set, go.

twist

I write about being afraid of having writer's block.

I wrote a kick ass letter yesterday. It was one of those letters you write and never send out. It just couldn't get to you, darling. I was with you in spirit. I sent my vibrations your way. I sent you my love and my light. You caught it. I know you did.
Waves.

Keep a blank page open and listen.
Or keep twistori.com open on your home screen, and leave it there all day. My current favorite place to see what YOU are doing. In a non-stalker way, of course.

Looking out from your shoes makes everything crystal clear. Tie the laces, you might just be filled with fear.
Be be your love.

Maybe not having it so much makes me love it when it comes. Maybe if I moved to Alaska it wouldn't be the same. Oh, rain and gloom.

sidenote

Make a list of all those you look up to, and why. See where it goes. I'll tell you what, mine are majority men.

un-pause my heart

There are a few things about fasting I have learned and overcome this year. It isn't just about the cleans of your mind, soul, and body; it's about learning about yourself through your actions and through your mind. I've seen myself resist on things I know I don't need, but want. That's the fine line. There are also things subliminally involved. Say, a blessing in disguise. I've gotten sick, I've been knocked down, and I've been nervous and worried about my health, and survival. Let me just say that it's not only fasting that has gotten me through. Watching The Karate Kid reminded me that as well. He was so scared, he gave up so many times and completed the brilliant movie on his own. I wouldn't say brilliant, but getting up so many times after getting hurt surely was. I have also learned that working hard to the point of being fatigued, if so, brings upon a heavy amount of respect amongst yourself. Getting that triple digit pay check was exactly how Mr. Nguyen-student teacher sophomore year-said it would feel like. "There is nothing more exciting than that." The first pay check. Knowing what you had sacrificed for it, regardless of being treated like a piece of meat (I was an extra in a film, don't worry) it payed off. I know what work feels like. And I'm not afraid of it anymore. I would like to work, because with that reward, I can get what I want. I have yet to know what to use it on, so I save it tucked away in my wallet. This is the truth. This is speaking strongly with my heart and my words might not be as bold and defined as I usually attempt them to be, but it's simple and deliberate. The adrenaline will rush as I find my way. I may not be balanced to where I want, but I don't know what that balance is. I will not search for it, because searching will make you blind. Let balance find me.


I start class tomorrow, so I am nervous for it and also excited with the courses I chose.
Listening and breathing will help me slow my roll and become intuitive and more wise. Looking back at that day on set makes me realize that you don't have to wait to make that move or better yet, you don't have to be hear if you don't want to be. So just go home. Or stand your ground and stay strong. With all that we did, we made fabulous friends and had a bitter sweet (and sweaty) time grooving on that 80s dance floor. My first "never ending" prom, and possibly my one and only. It was special.

My counselor had noticed as I told her myself, "I like to work in different environments and do different things each time." Having a wide variety of what I adore makes it a lot easier to love but a lot harder to choose. Doing different things gives you more feeling, and self control, about what you're getting your head into, and what you do not know. Just go. Go with the flow.

Nothing is stopping us.

There are so many beautiful people in the world, why doesn't it have to be the way you want it to be? Excuse that, let me try to clear that. As I pour this analysis in a straight line of letters, I am visualizing my "lover boy" (joke) on set. Crew member. He was beautiful, and the lock of eyes was enough for me to remember and keep to myself, as much as I wanted to break out and find a way to learn his name. "Look at me, I'm adorable!" I stated to Aaron, the one who pulled us into the set off the bleachers. NJ look-alike with a hint of Scott, both Scotts I know. "You know what I need." He shyly mimicked. I laughed, "I'm going to be a smart girl and walk away now..." Back to the dance floor. Spencer, the pretty blond girl gave me good vibes. Dane Cook laughed at my "Get it get it!" fist pump when we were all supposed to mouth "Verge!" Satisfied enough.

Q: What makes you different?
A: What you think about yourself.

Think about it.

It's in the air, the kindness. No. It's everywhere. Still. "Being still and doing nothing are two different things." I smell cinnamon. Pumpkin pie. Think you've had enough yet? I actually know what I'm talking about right now. I speak through coated days of being  unemotional and set them straight here. Christmas time, I want to be ready for it, prepared this year. I want a job so I can satisfy myself with all that I spend. Those bulk grey shoes from ForLove, or maybe sandals from H&M with some wool socks, that yellow thick knitted scarf, that Zara messenger bag, all that jewelry-especially that chunky necklace, and so on and so forth.
"You should wear that outfit on a regular basis. Maybe if those trousers were more fitted." Oh, sweet sweet Robby boy who I wish to have spent more time with.

On to sugar coated days like snow in December, and on to making friends with fresh faces and feeling. On with the cold and sun-peaking through the leaves days of walking tall and not neglected. On with vocabulary. Un-pause the quotes and wit, bring freshness and scarlet love letters, on with you you and you singing to me, on with being a good friend, on with seeing random acts of kindness, on with simple and happy thoughts, on with being tranquil. Letting guards down because there is not reason to have it up if you know yourself enough.

The last text I got from a wise man went a little something like this, "...just don't let the bad tear you apart."

I might be able to imagine all the good and see the dreams spawn with a timeline, because I know it's happening out there. Right now, I lay still, hoping to feel better soon. Because the fear won't tear me apart. Because we're conquering it. I. I will do it. We all have to do it. So I can look back and know I did it the way I wanted to.

I do what I do, but not for you. For me.